If you’d like a copy in the UK, it’s £11 including p&p (£10 if I can drop it off to you personally). Let me know if you want me to sign it!
If you use paypal you can pay directly and easily via paypal.me/RosemaryBadcoe and send me an email via the form. If you don’t like paypal, drop me an email and we’ll arrange something – cheques, cash and barter are all possible. See below for full book contents.
What do you get for your money? 7131 words, arranged in the best possible order in 55 poems, including this one, published in Oxford Poetry:
To hear this message again, press one.
To scrunch the phone between your ear and shoulder
while leaning sideways, pulling on your boot
and not have the door swing wide to dump you
on the floor, press two. To have a rest from
Dolly Parton crackling down the line, press three.
Press four to indicate you’re searching for a meaning.
Press again for a selection of solutions we’ve prepared,
running all the way from fundamentalist
to a neo-atheistic multiverse where you can
revel in the expectation that the other yous
are making love to [insert idol here].
If you’re able to explain, defend or merely
grant that you were wrong, press five.
Contrition will reduce the length of time you spend
on hold. A signed confession (pressing six)
means you can skip directly to the sentencing
and miss out seven. Never go for eight.
There is no number nine, no nine-nine-nine.
We’re not up to handling crises at this
time of night. Press hash to indicate that that
is what you’ve made of things. Now cease
to give a toss. You’re born of stellar nucleosynthesis.
You’ve higher things to do than listen here.
Go fulfil your destiny. Press star.
II The Director’s Cut
Nocturne for Suburbia
Elementary Catastrophe Theory
DisclaimerIII The Last Act
Fall of the Cards
Drowning Doesn’t Look Like Drowning
Waltzing Without Music
The One That Got Away
The Last Act